Tom and Mark With Aids
Tom and Mark’s many struggles with AIDS are shown in this documentary including the stigma directed towards them as a gay couple. There are several scenes displaying these stigmas but the most present ones are from Tom’s own family. His parents were presented to be somewhat supportive of his lifestyle as a gay man. However, we see from this film the underlying homophobia they held. Mark describes Tom’s mom, Mery Joslin, as a ‘typical liberal’ in scenes 20:33-21:00 and describes how she technically accepts their identity but in a condescending and pitiful way (Joslin, 1993). He says she feels bad for them as they don’t get to live the same way “normal” people do. This is shown in scenes 17:40-20:30 when Mery was asked about Mark, and she responded claiming how they don’t think alike or live alike (1993). Such small actions that accumulate over time are what gay people commit suicide for, Mark says. During Christmas time, Tom’s parents insist that he and Mark head out to visit them in New Hampshire as they are afraid it would be his last Christmas. On their airplane ride there, the film displays scenes 14:50-15:06 showing Tom covering spots - a result of AIDS - on his face with make-up. Tom is afraid of their judgment as well as their worry for him. So, along with dealing with his own fears and hardships from AIDS, Tom has to carry the weight of not having a fully supportive family.
In addition to not having supportive families, Tom and Mark had to go through many obstacles and lack of medical support for this disease. In the current day, people can get treatments for HIV before it develops into AIDS, allowing the infected to live a normal life. On the contrary, Tom and Mark had to face many struggles in an attempt to live a normal life. In this documentary, we mostly see Tom’s sickness as his AIDS arrives before Mark’s. Tom is first diagnosed with meningitis - a brain disease that would cause severe headaches and high temperatures. He is consequently rushed to hospitals regularly to deal with the brain disease and other maladies, which he reflects on in his narration. On January 1, during scenes 26:33-26:45, Tom has to go to the emergency room in New Hampshire a few days before he and Mark have to head back home. He says ‘They say whatever you do on the first day of the year is what you do for the rest of your life, well here we are’ (1993).